I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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