my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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