you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
