so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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