I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
