carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
