i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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