I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
