What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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