Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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