Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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