Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
