why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
me + whiskey = a bad person
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
