No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
