yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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