So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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