I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
