you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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