Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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