I must be too annoying 4 u.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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