so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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