I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
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