My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
