I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's great music for shaving your balls
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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