Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
