I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
