you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
