FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
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My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
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The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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