I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
