I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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