I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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