One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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