brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
