I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
