do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
