I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
