ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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