i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
