Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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