so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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