After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize