You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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