Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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