how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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