do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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