this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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