Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
