What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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