I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
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