Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
