dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
