That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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