No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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