Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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