I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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