im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
