I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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