My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
