It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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