He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
