but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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