i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
where does the pee come out of this thing
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
