in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
