umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
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I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
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I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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